Got Writer's Block? Here, Have Some Writing Prompts!
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Writer’s block is such a bitch. Prevention is worth more than cure here, of course, and one of the best ways to prevent the dreaded writer’s block is to write your story ideas down as they come to tinker with them later.
But in case you didn’t do that, here are some prompts and story ideas that might get you rolling. One could be used as a journaling piece or memoir.
What do you think about doing a series of essays on your most embarrassing moments – those times we’d prefer to forget? I think the experience would be both humbling and liberating at the same time. It’s very empowering to embrace our human frailty.
At last, the people came back to worship.
Once enough people returned to the earth, to honor the mountains, the woods, the streams, and the seasons, the Mother returned and brought with her the Maiden and the Crone.
“Hail to the Resurrection of the Goddess, may the Feminine save us all!”
The Goddess yawned and stretched.
“It’s not that simple,” she replied. “Humanity must redeem themselves.”
When Cassandra woke up and saw the rose on the pillow next to her, elation flowed through her.
Then she saw the note underneath.
Instead of words of love and devotion after a beautiful night together, this was an epistle of desertion.
Seduced only to be abandoned.
Cassandra vowed revenge.
Embarrassing moments make great stories.
When was the last time you wanted to crawl under a rock and hide?
Why?
What’s the story?
Go.
“We only have 5 minutes!”
“So what do you want me to do about it?”
“Nothing! There’s nothing anybody can do about it!”
“And you’re telling me this why?”
Anne hesitated, then figured she had nothing to lose.
“Since we’re doomed no matter what, wanna make out?”
Imagine a world where the scaffold of shame made a comeback.
How would this happen?
What broken rules would result in this public display of disgrace?
How long would this punishment endure?
Who would be the hero or shero who would make this stop?
What would be their driving force?
In case these aren’t enough, there are plenty more prompts to be found here and here.
How to Write When You'd Rather Netflix and Chill and the 15 Steps to Get There.
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You’ve made progress on your novel. You’re on your second draft and past the halfway point. You can’t believe it. Once you’re done with this, the novel will need work, edits, polish, maybe even one more rewrite.
The second draft is coherent in a way that the rough draft was not. The rough draft was a mess. Once you have finished the second draft, you have finally finished a book - a novel that needs work, but still a book.
Then your monkey mind starts swinging through the trees and your ADD goes off the chain. You can’t focus.
You remember you forgot to pay the electric bill. Then while you’re on your phone to pay that bill, you see 2 Facebook Messenger notifications, and wonder who is reaching out to you?
You open them only to find out it’s a nudge to say hello to your latest Facebook friend and another is an annoying group chain.
You leave the conversation and scroll through your feed only to find garbage. You wonder why you don’t have the nerve to disable your Facebook account because the bastards are violating your privacy anyway.
Then you remember that you forgot to pay the frigging garbage bill, and if you don’t pay it today you’ll be charged late fees. So you actually pay the bill, and suddenly, watching your favorite Netflix series sounds like the perfect reward for paying that garbage bill at the 11th hour.
But wait a minute. You haven’t written your pages today. You didn’t write your pages yesterday either, or the day before. You feel the stirrings of panic in your belly and guilt weighing your shoulders down into the I-hate-myself slump.
You lose momentum when you miss writing days. You know every day you miss writing only makes it worse because then the Shame Monster comes to life and laughs in your face.
“Slacker,” the Shame Monster chortles. “You’ll never finish that book. I knew you didn’t have it in you.”
I like happy endings.
So in this version of the story, your will resurrects from the dead and comes to the rescue.
Step 1) Tell the Shame Monster to go *%$# itself;
Step 2) Grab a notebook and pen.
Step 3) Write every bit of nonsense and distraction you can think of, every random thought that comes to your head. Write freely and keep your pen moving. Write until you feel calmer, more focused. If you want to time yourself, go ahead.
Step 4) Have a light snack. This step is optional.
Step 5) Open your laptop (or typewriter, some people still use these) and get to the last chapter you were working on when you got distracted. Read that chapter out loud.
Step 6) Any awkward places or light editing that comes to mind, go ahead and make those changes. That gets you back inside your story.
Step 7) When you get to the last lines of the unfinished scene, WRITE. Even if your writing is clumsy, KEEP WRITING until you finish that scene or that chapter.
Step 8) If the writing sucks, allow it. That’s what rewriting the next day is for.
Step 9) Have a light snack.
Step 10) Keep writing. If finishing that scene or chapter didn’t bring you to your minimum word count goal, continue writing the next scene or chapter until you have.
Step 11) If your writing sucks, allow it. That’s what rewriting the next day is for.
Step 12) Write past your minimum word count goal. You’ve slacked off and you need to push through that resistance until you’re in love with yourself and your writing again.
Step 13) Once you feel complete, close down your laptop.
Step 14) Do a happy dance.
Step 15) Netflix and Chill without shame.
For more advice on how to discipline that ADD monkey mind, click here.
6 Post-Breakup Freedom Drunk Writing Prompts Because I Can! And They're Original!
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Breakups come with dubious advantages. Here, one advantage is that I find it a safe distraction to make up writing prompts that have nothing to do with my ex-relationship. Since I’m having a hard time concentrating on everything else, this is a gift for other writers.
These prompts work for fantasy, romance, suspense, adventure, and journaling - which could help with memoir or even fresh ideas for a novel. It all depends on YOU and your inspiration!
Perhaps you’d like to check out my novel, “Ella Bandita and the Wanderer.” If so, click here!
If you’d prefer a freebie (Part 1) to check it out, click here!
In the meantime, enjoy these prompts and I hope they inspire you!
Writer's Block in a Sex Scene? How to Open Up and Break Through
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Writer’s block hits in so many different ways.
Technically, right now, I’m not “blocked” per the usual meaning, because I’m writing regularly.
Even if I’m in a slack phase in my writing, I am making progress on the crucial second draft of “The Shepherd and the Courtesan” (working title only), and I have to keep up on the blog.
Since I was blocked in the truest sense of the phrase for years in that I didn’t write at all, what’s holding me up now is not that much of a big deal.
But I do find it interesting.
There’s one scene that’s holding me up – the first sex scene between the Shepherd and the Courtesan. This scene does not happen right away in this novel.
In fact, it doesn’t happen until the second half of the novel, and there are several sex scenes before the reader even gets to them - sex scenes that are juicier, more transgressive, and more exciting.
Before we get to this, we have the psychological BDSM sex scenes between the Patron’s Daughter and the Brute – neither of them main characters – while the main character, Addie, who will later become the Courtesan, acts as voyeur.
We get to Addie’s flight to the Capital City, and none of the sex scenes are with her as a Courtesan for the sake of pacing.
But we do get the first sex scene between the Shepherd and the Woman who would become Ella Bandita; and the first sex scene between the Shepherd and the Courtesan is right after that.
But the difference between all the other sex scenes and this one is that this sex scene between the Shepherd and the Courtesan is much more vulnerable.
This scene is rooted in tenderness, whereas the others have some element of drama, hedonism, and intrigue.
Also in the scene between these characters, I’m writing about those who are not the usual players in an erotic scene, mainly because of age and ageism.
The Shepherd is 50, and the Courtesan is 60. They are still true to the usual standard of romantic fantasy in that both characters are exceptionally attractive.
In an erotic scene, the Courtesan suspends disbelief because she’s been very sexual for more than 40 years; and any woman who stays highly sexually active keeps her juice much longer than those women who don’t.
The Shepherd, however, has been mostly solitary and without a mate for 25 years. There is a lot of vulnerability there. I’m resistant to write about that, and I wonder why.
I wasn’t resistant to writing about the psychological and physical violence between the Brute and the Patron’s Daughter.
For the record, that’s not how I approach sexuality in my personal life. I’m not into BDSM, although I have a lot of friends who are and they are fascinating people. Perhaps that’s why. I’m emotionally detached.
So maybe I can’t be emotionally detached at the thought of a character who had embraced his solitude, and was now suddenly confronted with emotional and sexual intimacy, along with the fears that would entail.
That hits closer to the home of my experience.
Then I arrive at the logistics of impotence.
Erectile dysfunction is reasonable to expect in a middle-aged man who has not had sex in a quarter century.
That likelihood cannot be ignored because it would render the scene ridiculous, even in a “fantasy.”
Oh, and then there’s the logistics of being a woman writing a sex scene from the POV of a man.
I’ve done it before with the Wanderer in the previous novel, but it adds a whole new level of awkwardness to writing it.
Since Viagra is not an option for a story set in pre-Industrial fairy tale times, I consulted with my Tantra teacher on natural methods to induce a solid hard-on for the good Shepherd.
She shared the finger-in-anus-to-massage-the-prostrate technique that she claims would raise an erection in a dead man. (Ok, I exaggerate.)
Although that information is very pragmatic, I couldn’t figure out a graceful, poetic way to introduce it in the scene.
And the sensitive Shepherd, who has long been celibate, is more likely to be scared off with a move like that. Maybe I’ll use it later in the story once they get better acquainted.
Another tantra teacher suggested that the Shepherd start waking up with erections, getting back in touch with his sense of arousal before they ever get together.
Now that, I can use.
For their first time, so far, I went with tender loving care, encouragement, tantric breathing, and palpating the perineum.
Although there’s no guarantee those gentler methods would be effective in real life, who is to say that’s impossible? It only has to be in the realm of possibility, and that is good enough for me.
As far as insights and how-to advice, I think I led by example.
You can write a blog or a Facebook Note, and open up to strangers. Writing this post gave relief to my shyness. I've never used Facebook Live or Instagram Live, but I bet that would lead to some pretty out there input, and there’s always something useful.
If you prefer a more intimate place to get feedback on your sex scenes - in fiction and in life ;-) - I recommend talking about it with people face-to-face.
Discuss the sex scenes with close friends or your writers’ group. I will need to do this eventually for that masculine perspective on those sex scenes told from the man’s experience.
But even without that, other perspectives can be very helpful in fleshing out a challenging what ifs and snafus. And talking about it in person is likely to break you out of your reticence and embarrassment.
Oh, and there’s always masturbation. With a fantasy going on inside your head, maybe even the sex scene you’re stuck on.
My golden rule when it comes to writing about sex: If what I’m writing doesn’t turn me on, how can I expect that to stimulate the reader?
I’m ready to take on that sex scene now. How do you handle being shy about writing a descriptive sex scene?
For anybody who’d like a nibble - and this is only a nibble - because sex is part of the background, not the main event in the scene, click here to view this excerpt out of my work-in-progress, “The Shepherd and the Courtesan.”
6 Lovely Writing Prompts for Fantasy, Romance, Journaling!
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Time for some more writing prompts! Here are some luscious ones that could inspire fantasy, romance, love story (my personal favorite), journaling, or even memoir. It’s all up to you. If you like these, click here for the writing prompts that came before. I may offer more this month simply just because…
3 Ways to Love Yourself AND Get Past Writer's Block!
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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
I started writing for Medium a couple of days ago because:
1) I can get paid and I like getting paid and,
2) I have the freedom to write about anything and everything I want, and… still get paid. Which I like. A lot.
I can’t do that on this blog because everything I’ve read about blogging recommends getting specific in my topics.
Besides it’s evolved to cover writing prompts, novel excerpts, and resurfacing my On the Road journal sent to my friends when I was on my DIY booktour/roadtrip.
In other words, this blog is all things Indie Author oriented, and that can be very limiting.
Then it occurred to me that the article I wrote this morning could be useful to writers for writer’s block.
The article was originally titled: 3 Ways to Self-Love After a Breakup – Or for any other reason you feel like dog s***.
Since love and creativity draw from the same well, it made sense to include it here.
Besides writers have relationships and go through breakups, and one of the unfortunate side effects of that is…writer’s block.
So here is that list of some of my favorite self-love, self-care, feel-goodies that have been very effective at getting me out of my funk…and out of writer’s block.
By the way, these tips work for everything – not just breakups and writer’s block.
1. DANCE
I mean dance your butt off for at least 1 hour. This to me is the most powerful of everything I recommend.
Dance, besides being really good for your body, releases those endorphins that make you feel all is right in the world.
The more your cut loose, the more you shake it, the more likely you’ll get to bliss. And you want to get to bliss when you feel like dog s***.
The easiest is to dance in your living room or any other space where you can let go to your favorite playlist of beloved dance songs. And if you don’t have one, make one. Make several.
**My personal recommendations to include in your dance playlist songs that are dominated by percussion/drumming and/or didgeridoo. There is something cathartic about dancing to those instruments that is truly transformative.
If you live in an urban area or artsy town that has an Ecstatic Dance – also called 5 Rhythms or Soul Motion – I strongly recommend you start going on the regular. Ecstatic dance sets, if done right, are created to move energy and generate emotional release.
Another option is if there is a lot of live music – go out and dance in a crowd. I’m not quick to recommend dance nightclubs because the darkness and the vibe often make me feel alienated and alone in a crowd.
On the other hand, I’ve had some great dance offs in nightclubs. I guess it depends on what your jam is. If that works for you, go for it.
But you may have to wait until happier and healthier times to do that.
In these days of the Coronavirus, it’s best to stick to outdoor dance parties or your living room.
2. Hiking or Walking
What this really comes down to is get outside and move your body.
Ideally, you live someplace close to lots of beauty of forests, streams, and waterfalls. If you can, get out in that beautiful nature and allow it to heal your heart and so
If you can’t, find the prettiest neighborhood in your town with lots of trees and flowers and bushes and plants and walk around.
Hikes naturally take longer; but if you’re neighborhood walking, go for at least 45 minutes.
Do not stroll, walk briskly with long strides and swinging arms and breathe deeply through your nose to take in all the scents.
3. Shaking
Now, it’s time to get a little freaky because this practice makes you look crazy to the casual observer.
That said, it’s worth it.
To deliberately shake your body is amazing therapy.
Everything we experience is stored in our bodies - everything from the beautiful to the ugly.
But the ugly adds up. By literally shaking every part of your body, you’re shaking it OUT OF YOU.
It works even better if you speak gibberish afterwards – sounds that make no sense and form no coherent words for a minute or two.
This is the part that makes you look insane. But it works.
This was a crucial practice after my breakup.
I went through a period of feeling numb and disconnected.
I became acutely aware of this when I went to a Tantra Festival where everybody else was in a warm, touchy-feely, happy space and I wasn’t.
Things shifted after one workshop, when the facilitator started the dance practice with a several minutes of shaking followed by gibberish.
That one practice alone made me feel alive again.
Below is a video that shows a basic shaking practice that isn’t too mortifying (although the narrator does a little gibberish towards the end).
Go ahead and cut more loose and find other Youtube videos for some ideas. Be sure to put “shaking practice” in your search.
So now you have a few of my secrets.
Now that you’ve physically processed your “stuff,” put your butt to the chair and start writing!
Discipline, Baby!
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So yesterday I went to a les-bi writers meetup that I’ve belonged to for at least two years, and had never attended an event.
I had joined because I liked the focus on queer women writers.
Even if most of what I write isn’t queer – at least not directly – I still appreciate narrowing the field to create community between an intersection between identities. Being lesbian/bisexual is a specific way to be in this world, and being a writer is no less specific.
Besides realizing that I just enjoyed meeting new people for the first time since I left my now-ex-fiancee, that was an excellent cure for writer’s block.
I’ve hardly written anything original, except for writing prompts in over 2 months, and lately, I’ve been borrowing from dialogue excerpts in various novels to get a jumpstart on those.
Gotta love those breakup blues that result in creative blocks!
Anyway, the event started with a writing prompt. I picked it and what came up was something that had been lacking in my world – discipline.
Discipline makes a dry subject to write about, so instead I turned discipline into a character study. The end result is that I finally wrote SOMETHING NEW, DAMMIT!
Besides being totally excited that I just wrote something fresh, I was pleased enough with the piece to share it here. Because all writers need discipline to do what we do.
Discipline.
It’s such a dirty word because it’s so necessary.
If Discipline were a woman, she’d be a rail thin, long-limbed, tight-lipped clichéd librarian type with angular features and humorless eyes.
But she gets the job done.
She gets up at 4:30 AM to meditate, eat a light breakfast, workout, shower, and dry her hair, only to put in a tight knot at the base of her neck.
Her hair is chestnut brown and her eyes are a flat hazel.
She would then dress primly and properly for her day job, which doesn’t necessarily have to be a librarian, but would have to involve DISCIPLINE because that’s her jam.
All her appointments are timed impeccably.
Any client who is not on time will lose time with her for her to welcome her next appointment, no matter how much money or power is involved. She does not tolerate lateness because she is never late herself.
Never.
Her clients are rarely late for their appointments with her.
For an hour lunch, she only spends fifteen minutes eating.
The rest of the time, she power walks around the park or gets some work done on a personal project that she does for love and giggles – like maybe writing a novel.
She will later work on this project for exactly two hours that night after work, before cooking and after dinner.
Even if she has a partner/lover/husband/kids or all of the above, nothing can sway her from her 2 hours of personal time on her project.
It is quite likely though, that Discipline is a child-free woman.
Kids are too messy and too demanding for her strictly-adhered to schedule. They have too many needs, and are prone to getting sick at the most inconvenient times.
Discipline has few girlfriends, because most women are frightened of her.
She has one best friend, who is as organized, driven, and focused as she is. They bonded over their mutual impatience and disdain for fluffy, flaky types.
If they aren’t roommates, Discipline and her bestie meet for dinner or a show at least once a week, and they talk on the phone at least twice a week. Like most besties, they text back and forth just about every day.
When Discipline has a lover, you can bet she is kinky as all get out, a merciless domme with severe red lipstick painted on her narrow lips.
She is efficient in how she doles out punishment, and of course, discipline. Orgasm is always guaranteed. For herself as well as her lover.
She prefers to dominate the dominant types. Power gives her a grim satisfaction, and the thrill makes her flesh tease and tickle.
Discipline always goes to bed between 9 and 10 PM, after a cool shower where she flosses and brushes her teeth.
The last half hour of waking is reserved for the reading that she does solely for pleasure.
Her choice of novels are those that will transport her to another world of adventure, mystery, and the erotic for those last 20-30 minutes before she relaxes enough that her eyelids grow heavier and heavier.
Then she turns out the light and collapses under the covers and falls asleep within minutes. Her slumber will last somewhere between 6 ½ and 7 hours.
During that time, she will reach the vivid dreaming REM at least three times.
Then the alarm will sound at 4:30 AM and her new day begins.
I aspire to be more like this woman, but I know that will never happen. But that is how I see Discipline. Even a few crumbs of this would make me so much more productive.
For the record, I did get back to work on the Shepherd and the Courtesan. If you’d like to see a segment of that work-in-progress, click here.
4 Steps and 40 days to Healthy Habits For Writers Who Struggle With the Juggle!
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Hey y’all,
Did you know that it takes 40 days to change a habit?
According to the late Yogi Bhajan, it is so. It also takes 90 days to confirm the new habit; after 120 days, the new habit is who you are; and if you keep it up for 1000 days, you have mastered the new habit.
I’ve found that 120 days will make some profound changes. 120 days was enough to quit smoking. I did this by replacing a bad habit with a good one. Instead of puffing on a cigarette, I practiced the Kundalini breathing exercises Yogi Bhajan passed on to Western culture.
I focused on 1 or 2 meditations and mantras at a time for 40-day runs. At the end of that winter, I had transformed into a non-smoker rather than an ex-smoker craving a cigarette. That was more than 15 years ago.
Some would say Yogi Bhajan was a cult leader. And maybe that is true. Either way, smoking is a gnarly addiction for a lot of people; it was for me, so the man and his memory have my respect, as well as my gratitude.
Since then the 40-day method has been my standard go-to when it comes to making constructive changes in my life.
I’ll get back to this later.
A few days ago, a gentleman responded to a meme on my Twitter page about writer’s block. From what he had to say with very young children to raise, I gathered that he doesn’t have time to write.
Since I’m new to parenting via the stepmother path, I could sort of relate to what he was talking about.
I got to thinking about all we have to juggle in life – and then there’s the writing. It’s a balancing act that I’m not comfortable with. There was a time when I had the time to isolate for several weeks to write a rough draft because I didn’t really have to worry about anybody but myself.
Even if the loneliness of being that single got to me so much that I suffered some serious writer’s block as a result, I miss having that kind of space to immerse myself in another world. Now, I only get 2 hours of daily writing time - 4 if I’m lucky - before I have to move on with everything else that needs to be done.
As an independent author, I’m also a publisher. I have to find my editors, artists, graphic designers, printers, and whoever else will be involved in the process of giving birth to a new book.
Independent author or not, there’s no getting away from all the social media stuff that needs to be done. Instead of simply working on the creative juice of novels and stories, writers now have to have a platform. We have to blog, tweet, pin, Facebook, and Instagram, etc.
All this for the sake of getting our name out there in the hopes that the world knows our stuff exists and will come to read it and love it. Traditionally published authors have to do the social media thing just as much as the Indies do.
Then there is the stuff of life - relationship, friendships, parenting, day jobs, and beloved hobbies for those who have the time.
Maybe it’s just me, but it seems there are more demands on time and attention and energy than ever before. Or maybe it’s because a child has been thrown into the mix of life, and I’m still getting used to that.
I’ve never been organized in my life, and now I have to be at least a little competent at it. Which brings us back to habits because I had to improve mine.
So about that 40-day method of creating healthy habits…
Or 90 day.
Or 120 day.
Last year, I made a commitment of 4 small yet mighty changes of habit - daily meditation, walking, chores, and writing. I started the day with meditation and walking before getting my morning coffee. Then I wrote at least 2 pages every day and did at least 1 chore.
I did this for 120 days.
Small changes led to big results.
Meditation balanced me a lot more and I could concentrate so much more.
I lost about 15 pounds from walking – just walking.
I usually wrote more than 2 pages a day.
One chore often led to another chore, sometimes 2 or 3 more.
I’m not saying that I’m a neat freak now, but I tidy more than I used to and it has made a difference in how functional I am.
In that 120 days, I finished the rough draft of the novel that I am well immersed into my second draft now. In that time, I finished rewriting and polishing a fairy tale I wrote years ago.
I was more productive during that 120 days than I had been in years. With all the demands on my time and energy, I was much more productive than when I had the time and space to dive into an imaginary world for weeks at a time.
Just in case anybody would like a to-do checklist on consciously changing habits, I got some great tips from the guys at JumpCut, and their Viral Academy on making Youtube videos. Here ya go:
1) Identify the bad habit you need to change.
We lie to ourselves all the time about our habits, and justify them. Don’t do that.
2) Replace the bad habit with a good one.
We rely on our habits to get through the day. Taking away a bad habit without putting something else in its place won’t work. For example: Meditate for 5-10 minutes first thing in the morning, instead of opening your phone to check Facebook. Or do deep breathing exercises that will give you a head rush instead of reaching for a cigarette. That’s what I did.
3) Plant a seed habit.
Start small and build from there. It helps if you put yourself in the position that you have to do it. That makes it easier to do it every day. For example: Walk or ride bike to work. Write 2 pages before checking social media, etc.
4) Don’t break the chain.
This is where the 40 days comes in. If you don’t have a wall calendar, get one. Put a big fat X in any color you want on each day that you do your new, healthy habit. Do this for as many days as you can. Doing this feels deliciously satisfying.
If you make it to 40, try to push it to 90 days. Maybe spread to 120 days. And then…
I should probably aim for 1000 days to make sure these new habits stay with me forever.
Are there any writers out there who have any healthy habit forming tricks you’d like to share? What tools do you have to make it all happen? If you have any insights, please check in with a comment or two. Check in if you struggle with the juggle. Because I’m pretty sure we all do.
Truthfully, I should start another 40-day challenge to get the second draft done. Or 90 day. I’m sure I could get this draft done in 120 days.
For anybody who wants to be a Youtube influencer, or to check out some of Jumpcut’s courses, click here. For the record, this is NOT an affiliate link, and I do not get a commission if you anybody signs up. That one video they did on changing bad habits did me a lot of good and I want to spread the love.
Thanks for reading.
Peace,
Montgomery
Time to Get Back to Work
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Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay
The Victorians had some rigid and bizarre rituals for mourning.
Widows had to embody mourning for at least 2 years, wearing nothing but black before being able to mute to gray, then mauve, and white.
But never mind the fashions, their absence at anything remotely social was ruthlessly expected. Anything less than total isolation was not acceptable.
That must have been torture, no matter how much the women loved their husbands.
Image by Anna Veronika from Pixabay
By the way, I’m not a recent widow and nobody close to me has died. My engagement ended this past summer when I left my fiancée. So perhaps this beginning hints of melodrama.
That said, modern times do not have adequate rituals for grieving, much less the elaborate ones nobody can afford through time or money.
Even if I had invested in a dream that would never come true – and would have been a nightmare if I had stayed, this breakup is the death of an imagined future. Even if I wasn’t happy, I was counting on this future, as you can see from this blog here, posted not even 5 months ago.
Oh! Bitter, bitter irony!
There is a grieving process in breakups that suspends sociability and productivity.
I was in a really bizarre space emotionally right after I left. I could only handle spending time with people I knew well.
Any time I was in a social situation that entailed mingling with others for the first time, I couldn’t connect with anybody. It was as if I existed just outside my body.
Image by Grae Dickason from Pixabay
But besides sociability, my writing momentum came to a screeching halt.
Before I left, I had been working with a very talented illustrator for a children’s fairy tale, “Why Roses Have Thorns.” See previous blogs about Natalya here and here.
She had just finished all the illustrations, and had set me up with an editor friend who was working on the manuscript.
I still need to go back and look over those edits to go for a final polish, because I haven’t done shit since the break up.
Needless to say, that second draft of “The Shepherd and the Courtesan” that I was so proud of? I’ve only touched it once since last July.
Thank Goddess that I had enough blogs scheduled for about a month because that kept me consistent.
Since then, many blogs in the last two months are excerpts from my novel and my work-in-progress, as well as journal entries from my DIY booktour/roadtrip in 2005-2006.
I even dug up a couple of blogs from a year ago and re-posted when I was truly desperate and couldn’t think of anything to write about.
I post 3x/week. So out of 3 months; that makes at least 36 blogs. Out of those 36, only 6 (including this one) are fresh pieces.
Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay
This does not include the writing prompts. I’ve made 6 sets of 6 writing prompts since early September. I guess I went a little nuts on those because they don’t require my concentration, and that is the beauty of them.
I don’t need to stick to an overarching theme as I do a reflective article. I only have to put a pithy description or chunk of dialogue. Then whoever is grabbed by one prompt or the other runs with it, and comes up with their own themes.
Today is the 3-month mark of the day I left my fiancée. We were together almost 4 years. In the grand scheme of relationships, that’s not very long.
In the scheme of toxic relationships, which had we been the last 2 years we were together, I consider myself lucky that this only lasted 4 years. So many people stay much longer when they should have left much sooner.
That said, I’m still smarting over the lost time, even if I learned a lot and grew a lot.
A friend told me her measuring stick for processing the end of a relationship was 1 month for every year together and then it’s time to get back on track. She said it took her about a year to recover from the end of a 12-year relationship.
In about 22 days, I will hit that benchmark.
I can feel myself thawing out of the numbness that had consumed me until I went to a Tantra Festival (I’ll write about that later. I promise) at the end of August. Ideas are flowing and I’m getting restless.
Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay
