Journey of a Thousand Cranes, Part 2

Image by t_s_l from Pixabay 

Image by t_s_l from Pixabay

“Your cranes are beautiful,” she said.  “What are you going to do with them?”

I hadn’t thought about that. 

I had folded over two hundred of them, and they were starting to pile up. 

And then I got a vision of my paper cranes flying up the stairs as they were stuck to my wall. 

I had bought a townhouse condo with a tremendous wall space, and for two years, that space had me stumped. 

Since the small upstairs bedroom didn’t extend across the stairwell, the main wall at the bottom of the steps was fourteen feet from floor to ceiling, and at the top, it was seven feet. The wall space was 270°, resulting in a wrap-around effect as it turned in the narrow width of the stairwell and turned again where the outside wall of the small bedroom faced the main wall of the staircase. 

With such a big space to play with, I wanted something more special than the usual pictures, posters, or prints. I couldn’t think of anything, so I did nothing and that massive wall space remained bare.

All of a sudden, my wishing meditation had a purpose. 

Not only was this going to change my life, it was now art in the making. 

I went from origami paper to folding photos from magazines, yellowed pages from my favorite book, bright white pages from my abandoned novel to make the cranes that would transform my staircase and make it magical. 

I folded cranes everywhere I went and got a lot of people’s attention. 

I gave them away at random for I had so many and it seemed like good karma. I left them with the tip in restaurants I ate in, to the barista who made my mocha, to the florist who arranged the flowers. I gave them to classmates, to friends, to strangers.

At work, I covered for the receptionist for a week, and my respite supervisor sulked when I gave other colleagues a crane and didn’t think of her.  So of course, I let her pick her favorite. 

I’d look up from wherever I was and see somebody smiling at me as I folded those cranes bringing me closer and closer to my wish. 

The anti-war movement had a dedicated following here in Juneau, and I strongly suspect many people thought I was folding peace cranes in protest to the President (George W at the time). 

But I was only thinking of myself.

Around 300 cranes, a good-looking bad boy entered my sphere. 

I thought he was obnoxious, but I also thought I could get him if I wanted to. We disliked each other, but our conversations were loaded with energy because we didn’t agree on anything. 

It was exciting.

I also had my eye on a gym rat with a questionable reputation - sought after and commitment afraid. What a conquest! 

We had a couple of dates; and it didn’t matter that the gym rat was leaving town to travel for six months - I was elated. I was finally on my way to being lucky in love. 

And it occurred to me that I didn’t even know what that meant 

When I first made my wish, the image I had in mind of what it was to be lucky in love was to win over the ones I yearned for. 

But the more I observed those sought after beloveds, it was obvious that they were not the ones who yearned.

Most of them were good people. 

Others were nice in some ways and not so nice in others. And there were plenty of beloveds that had all kinds of unlovable attributes – shallow, vain, self-absorbed, rude, vicious, cruel, selfish. 

The list could go on and on, but they all had one thing in common. They loved themselves. It didn’t matter whether it was too much or just enough, but matters of the heart were not something they fretted over as they went about their day. 

One morning, I was folding cranes in my favorite breakfast joint, occasionally catching a phrase here and there from the table across mine by two out of town men who were in Juneau for a hunting trip. 

The cell phone of the man facing me rang; he answered and sounded very happy to have been interrupted. 

The person on the other end was probably his wife and I believe his child was also on, because he ended each chat with “I love you.” 

Of course, that got my attention. 

He seemed like such a good man and I was so struck by the ordinary scene I recorded it in my journal, where I wrote that the people who were his wife and child were very lucky indeed. 

Meditation is a strange trip, leading to unexpected places within one’s psyche. 

Journey of a Thousand Cranes, Part I

Image by Vibeke Lundberg from Pixabay 

Image by Vibeke Lundberg from Pixabay 

I once folded a thousand cranes because I wanted to be lucky in love. 

Having had more runs of datelessness than I needed for inner strength, along with an unpleasant run-in with my last mistake at the wedding of mutual friends, I determined that when it came to love, I was cursed. 

At the time, I was convinced that the Universe owed me the exciting love life that was long overdue. So, ignoring my usual frustration with things that require patience and precision, I started folding paper. 

It took several lessons by two different teachers, but I was finally able to fold the origami crane.

Years before, a friend whose mother had died from cancer told me about a project when he and his sister worked together to fold a thousand cranes during the illness. They had hid them all over the house and presented their mother with a scroll explaining the cranes they had folded for her healing. 

Of course, she was touched to the point of tears - and who wouldn’t be?  For months, she’d find a crane in a coffee cup or in the cabinet when she reached for laundry detergent, which reminded her of the gift from her kids. 

I was intrigued by the story and asked Jeff to show me how to make a crane. We were out, having drinks in New Orleans. He tried to fold his cocktail napkin into a bird.

But he couldn’t get the hang of it - either because the paper was too flimsy, or his brain was from the alcohol, so my first lesson never got off the ground. 

They say that when the student is ready the teacher will come. 

Years later, I was in Chicago, “breaking rice” with a friend and one of her oldest friends, George, who was Japanese. Somehow the subject came up about folding cranes, and I vaguely remembered it as a “healing” thing to do.

“Folding a thousand cranes makes wishes come true,” said George as we finished our sushi.

The light bulb flashed on in my mind. Everybody has something they’ve always wanted, and I was no exception.

This was in the summer of 2003.

At that time, my life was full. 

Between summer work as a hiking guide, winter work with the disabled, and going back to school for an outdoor studies program, I had a lot going on. 

But, like many single people who were not in a relationship, I wanted to be. I was loath to admit this, but I was also more than a little anxious at my relative powerlessness to change that. 

There was a part of me that believed I had failed as a woman by not being married or in a domestic partnership.

“Get on the Internet,” people said. “There are tons of people out there.”

Sound advice, I had to admit. Yet for various reasons, I was reluctant to go there. One of them being I lived in SE Alaska, and the internet was still viewed with suspicion by many.

So I figured I’d fold a thousand cranes and my problem would be solved. 

As soon as I was back in Juneau, I sought out a friend who was an art teacher and who had lived in Japan for a year. 

My instincts were right. Heather knew how to fold the crane and she gave me my first two lessons. 

A couple of days later, I got lost around the tenth fold and my crane had floppy wings. 

That was when I crossed paths with a yoga teacher active in the peace-love-anti-war movement. 

Of course, she knew how to make the crane, and I received my third and final lesson. I think it helped that she also showed me a breathing technique to calm me down when I got frustrated. 

That was when I got it. I had finally mastered the crane and was good to go.

But what do I wish for? 

I knew I wanted to be in a relationship, but I also knew that I was feeling… ambivalent. 

And ambivalent feelings like mine tend to put the kabash on relationships working out. 

I figured that if I was going to go to the trouble of folding a thousand pieces of paper into cranes, I should ask for something that had long-term value and to keep the request simple. 

As a meditation, I knew from experience this would likely result in more than I asked for. I thought of those people who always have a relationship or options to get into one. I knew I wanted to be one of them.

So I wished to be lucky in love and started folding paper with gusto. 

I was obsessed.

This project consumed me. I folded a minimum of 10 cranes a day. 

By the time I’d folded around 100 cranes, it looked as if my wishing meditation was getting results. 

I met somebody attractive, nice…and single on one of my tours. 

We clicked and made a date after the tour, which ended with a walk on the only sandy beach in the city and borough of Juneau on Douglas Island. 

Rather a peculiar spot for romance, given that the “sand” was from mining tailings, and the glory hole where we hung out on a petrified log, was born from the flooding and caving in of the Treadwell Mine in 1917. 

Between the shut-down of the largest gold mine in the world at that time, and the dumping into the glory hole thereafter, that area is one of the most toxic spots in the country.

But you would never know it to be there, even if you had to be careful where you stepped because there were rusted out mining tools, broken dishes, and other parts on the beach.   

The history of the area was the last thing on my mind, however…

Sandy Beach was conveniently near my home, which was part of my master plan. We ended our date making out in my living room until it was time for the ship to sail. 

After an exchange of email addresses, we parted, and I was sure that was only the beginning.    

Initially, I bought the brightly colored origami paper at a few dollars a pop, in all kinds of patterns. 

I folded cranes in cafés, at the bowling alley with one of my clients, in class when I was bored, outside in my yard on those rare sunny days in Southeast Alaska where it’s a cardinal sin to be inside when you don’t have to be. 

It was on one of those days when my neighbor Jacque asked me about them as I was folding away. 

I had a tattered wicker table with an underbelly and was sticking the cranes by the tail in the holes between the webbing as I finished. The faded occasional table was rendered festive with the bright birds sticking out of it.

“Your cranes are beautiful,” she said.  “What are you going to do with them?”