The girl always closed her eyes when the Phantom came for her.
When she didn’t see the Cavern walls around her, she could forget that the Horse Trainer may no longer be alive. She could forget that even if he were, the Horse Trainer would not be as she once knew him.
With her eyes shut, she could fall into the fantasy and allow his Phantom to consume her.
When she didn’t see him, his touch went deeper and his smell transported her to the summer she learned what it was to feel joy. The Phantom could have her any way he wanted, so long as her craving was satisfied and the throbbing of her empty space quiet.
It was the only time she felt whole.
In the early weeks, she detested the lessons.
The Sorcerer with his pointer and his easel was a reality she couldn’t deny.
Many weeks passed before she finished the first assignment and gave in to her own pleasure. It was a revelation when the inner fortress she lived in all her life crumbled once she did.
The Sorcerer never had to teach her anything twice after that.
Most of his lectures had little to do with carnal skill.
Her mentor was adamant that seduction must begin in the mind before the body would surrender or the heart would be claimed.
As she listened to him talk about the greatest lovers in history, the girl realized it was the Sorcerer who was seducing her, even if he needed the essence of the Trainer to do so.
She also understood that, for all his knowledge, there was only one truth.
She would never gain mastery over another until she was mistress over herself.
This lesson was the most difficult.
Every time the Phantom came for the girl, her self-command dissolved in the throbbing of her hollow.
She began keeping her eyes open when they made love.
She was frightened the first time she witnessed his surrender. She even had to fight the urge to close her eyes and fall back into fantasy.
Then she became fascinated with his pleasure, exploring ways she could bring him to higher peaks.
The first time her Phantom Lover surrendered to an ecstasy she orchestrated, the thrill spread through her body. That climax was like nothing she dreamed possible, the tingling exploding until both body and mind were shattered.
Then she came back stronger.
Her appetite for lovemaking became insatiable.
The girl and her Phantom Lover made a game out of it, a competition to be the one to bring the other to the edge, only to send them into the abyss and fall in afterwards.
They laughed often, for pleasure was assured.
But the girl couldn’t get enough of that feeling when it was she who brought the Phantom to surrender.
The girl often had to fight to keep her hold on reality when fantasy threatened to intrude.
Sometimes she almost succumbed to the belief the Phantom was the Horse Trainer. When he looked at her a certain way or kissed her with more tenderness than ardor, but especially when he laughed, he was so much like her friend that joy burst inside the girl, and she embraced the Phantom as her beloved.
But waking up to the Sorcerer always reminded her of what she was really doing.
Finally her loathing disappeared.
As summer drew to a close, she had a sentiment akin to gratitude when she saw the Sorcerer.
Her days transformed along with her nights from the time their arrangement began.
A few weeks after she started going to the Caverns, the girl went for her late afternoon ride, but changed course. Instead of going south through the village or west towards the Ancient Grove, she steered the horse east of the manor and followed the river winding through a young forest.
She didn’t know what compelled her to go to this place where she hadn’t been in years.
She used to come here with the Horse Trainer on those afternoons they weren’t inclined to go to the Abandoned Valley. She hadn’t been back since he was gone.
In these woods, the Trainer had introduced her to the ways of the wanderer.
The unlikely mentorship started because she didn’t believe his stories about stowing away in the lowest reaches of the ships, escaping from angry sheikhs, and traveling across deserts by camel.
She didn’t think such adventures were possible for a penniless vagabond. She remembered how ashamed she’d been when she saw the outrage in his eyes.
The Trainer had noticed and smiled.
“I’m a lot of things,” he’d said. “But I’m no liar. I dare you to find out just how wrong you are, little Miss.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can show you how a man can live off nothing. You just have to be willing to learn.”
During the rest of that summer, she often regretted accepting that challenge.
Those were the only lessons she struggled with in her life.
The Trainer didn’t make it easy for her, and she hated him whenever he laughed at her. But he taught her everything he knew.
He showed her how to make a pole and line to catch fish, how to shoot a rifle, even how to hunt with a knife if that was all she had.
He insisted she skin her own kills and cook the meat in a skillet over a fire, which he also taught her to make.
He instructed her in building a camp when she had something to work with, and even when she had nothing.
It took the entire summer for her to master these strange skills, but these lessons gave her the most gratification of everything she’d ever learned.
She hadn’t thought about that season for years, pushing those days to the furthest recesses of her mind.
But as she cantered the reddish brown steed around the bend of the river, she kept her eye out for their favorite fishing spot.
Their poles were still there.
The long sticks were leaned against the tree, as if they were waiting for them to return and cast their lines.
She dismounted from her horse and picked up the pole she’d struggled to carve until it was right. She bent it slightly and chuckled when the wood split down the middle.
She wasn’t at all surprised when she tried the Trainer’s pole and found it still strong and flexible.
The girl hesitated for just an instant before throwing off her skirts and jacket. Clad in peasant breeches and a blouse, she crouched and clawed through the mud for worms.
Before long, she had her line cast in the river and after an hour, she pulled in her first catch.
Practicing these forgotten skills, the past intertwined with the present to bring her a peace she hadn’t known in too long.
The girl often looked around. The Trainer’s presence so strong she almost expected to find him.
But the memories were enough.
